Yesterday, was day 3 of Paryushan.
We had a day planned to finish some shopping for the home. Shopping is a No No, during Paryushan, since one is distracted by the material world, during a time of focusing on one’s Soul/ Atma.
Anyways, shopping it was. We needed to buy a nightstand for my daughter’s room. She is 7.5 yr old and sleeps in our room, sometimes, in her bed and sometimes in ours.
A couple weeks ago, we took her shopping to buy the bed set for her room as well as a rug. She helped order her curtains online, her bath rugs, and her bathroom accessories. She is super excited about her room now. She had asked if she could go for sleepovers to her friend’s , and I told her, “For that, you need to be comfortable sleeping in your own room.”
Our goal is to get her room ready and have her sleep there, regularly. after her 8th birthday. I asked my mom, a while back, when should we get her to sleep in her bed, her answer was simple, when your child says she is ready.
Search for a night stand ended with her selecting a Doll House night stand from Pottery Barn. After making the purchase, it was already lunch time. We decided to eat at Rooh, a restaurant in Palo Alto. A good place to eat at, except, not, when you have Paryushan going on. I ate Jackfruit tacos. It did not mention any onions in the description, but I have a feeling, there were onions in it. In retrospect, I can’t imagine otherwise.
Not eating Kand mul/ roots and tuber or eating outside food during Paryushan is not going well for me, to say the least.
I am not sure if you have noticed the green vegetables I have been eating, without a mention that those need to be avoided during Paryushan, as well. I have decided to continue eating those through Paryushan, currently, my health does nto allow for me to sustain my body on Legumes and beans. I struggled with it but have decided not to give up vegetables for this time period. I am trying to eat vegetables that are not full of seeds like Bottle gourd, Eggplant, Okra, and Tindora. I reconciled my conflict by choosing one day of the Paryushan that will be vegetable free.
I have to stick to menu planning, it is hard when family is priority.
I have to say, the vow I took after the Pravachan of not eating any sweet snacks, at night, I did uphold. My husband offered my chocolate and I refused. Taking Pachkan works. I have to figure out how to do that even when all these lectures end.
After lunch, we went to place the order for the counter stools at Ethan Allen. We placed the order and left.
We came home, hot and tired, after picking up the food bag from my sister’s home. My husband and daughter went swimming, to cool off. I, just, sat close to my fan [Dyson ones are the best].
In the evening, I, again, attended the Pravachan with Dr Priyadarshana Jain, who has a Phd in Jainism. She talked about Jain role models and their stories, inspiring lay people to follow the tenets of Jainism. She talked about the 16 Mahasatis, who are the Jain women role models. I decided I need to find out more about these for my daughter, having never heard of them before.
When the question came, who are the role models for the youth. My daughter chimed in ” My mom”. Many others mentioned names of women like Chandanbala etc. My daughter saying that has been reverberating in my mind since.
My daughter saying I am her role model has shook me. I am blundering my way through this Paryushan with her. She sees my imperfect attempts to do this better. Maybe that is a good thing. Maybe I need to do a little more, emphasize the things we need to do more of and things we need to do less of. Maybe I need say nothing and let her learn by observation, continuous improvement cycles, as they occur organically.
Sunday night became movie night. We started watching the Disney movie ” Luca”. Would she have insisted we watch the movie, had I told her that we do not do this in Paryushan. To be honest, I suggested we watch the movie, cause I was tired and needed a break. I can’t imagine spending all my waking hours contemplating on my pure consiousness.
Just like, I can’t eat a cartload of mangoes in one sitting even if I were never to see them again or spend every waking moment with my daughter just because she is leaving for college tomorrow, I can’t focus on just my Soul for 24 hours. My brain muscles are not developed enough, yet for me to do that.
Dinner was Cicero’s pizza, let’s not forget the onion and garlic in the pizza, for my daughter and husband. I chose to eat the plantain curry with rice and lettuce.
I told her, it has onion and she told me, she liked pizza too much to not eat it for the onion! Should I have taken the chance to explain to her how the onion has millions of “Nigodh” lives on it which die when we eat it and how killing these “Nigodh” lives can result in us being born in Tiryanch Gati after death.
Should I have given her a chance to make a better choice? Given her a chance to rise to the occasion…..what do you think? Tomorrow is another day….Maybe we can reset and try again tomorrow….
Maybe tomorrow, I will talk to her about how we choose to eat differently during Paryushan to decrease Himsa and to practice Ahimsa, how we choose activities which allow us to come closer to understanding our true self, our SatChit Anand swarup.
Maybe all is not lost and that this is just the beginning…..for me to adhere more to the guiding principles for my Soul to be liberated and modeling for her my imperfections while trying to walk the path of Perfection….
If this reminds you of Groundhog Day, I could not agree more……